When I was a little girl I was painfully shy. I don’t know how it happened but I wouldn’t surprised if some “thoughtful” adult in my life introduced me as, “This is Nancy. She is shy”. When I was about six years old, my mother decided to put an end to it and she gently eased me into meeting other children. I remember a day when we first moved to Eatontown, NJ after my Dad was transferred back from Germany to head the Army Central Intelligence Office out of Newark. We rented a farmhouse situated on 24 acres of fields and barns and fruit trees. It was a fun place for a kid with a love of the outdoors and an imagination.
One day the children from the neighborhood came over to see who the two new girls were. My sister ran outside and jumped right into the conversation and action. I looked out of my window at the fun and wished that I was as bold as she. My mother, noticing my hesitance took me by the hand and led me out to meet the neighbors. Oh it was hard and I can remember hiding behind her, clutching a stuffed lamb for dear life. Gradually, with her encouragement and casual conversation I stood in front of the new kids and smiled. They didn’t care that I was “shy” or quiet; they just wanted to play in our huge yard. We remained friends for years.
Looking back I can remember some of the lessons my mother taught me about meeting other people (networking) and I am so grateful. As the years went on and I had a family of my own, she continued her introductions and friendly matchmaking with my children. My mom is gone now but I think of her often and gratefully acknowledged the huge role she played in molding who I am today, I jotted down her networking tips. (She would have laughed at the word networking; she most likely would have called them common sense people skills.) They are great tips for the kid in all of us.
1. Be yourself. You are who you are and can’t ever make yourself someone else.
2. Be open to new people and new ideas. You might learn something.
3. Treat everyone the way that you want to be treated. Everyone has feelings just like you. Everyone should be respected.
4. Get out there even if you don’t feel like it. You’ll most likely enjoy yourself more than you expected.
5. Not everyone is as confident as they appear. Everyone has some sort of insecurity. Be open to people and make them feel comfortable.
6. If someone is not interested, so what? Move on and meet someone new.
I’ve carried these tips along with me through life. Her advice, recipes, voice, smile and mannerisms have made me who I am today and I am grateful.
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