If Everyone's A Winner, Why Can't I Find a Job?

A friend posted an interesting article on Facebook today about an elementary school in Michigan that sent a note home to parents reminding them that during the upcoming field day, “The urge to win will be kept at a minimum.” In other words, everyone's a winner and there will be no losers during the field day games.

I remember field days as a kid at my own elementary school and then, once I was a mom, being a volunteer parent at every field day from 2^nd grade on up. It wasn’t too long ago that as that class mom I saw a hearty spirit of warm competition between the kids and the different grades. No one was a poor loser and no one was an arrogant winner. Everyone spent the day supporting one another and they all went back to school happy, hot and tired.

My dad used to teach the 5^th grade and every spring there was a softball game between the 5^th and 6^th grades.  To this day these now grown men and women remember the competition and the laughter and the healthy rivalry they all shared.  And guess what? It didn’t mess them up or lead to struggles as they grew up. Where did that idea ever come from?

This “everyone is a winner” mentality is becoming so common and it makes me wonder how anyone can grow up without learning how to do their best. 

It sure won't help someone later on in life when they try to find a job.  A company isn't going to pass around jobs like trophies. Later on, if they are lucky enough to get hired, the playing field will shift and they will find to their shock that not everyone will get promoted. 

Are they going to call their mom and have her call the boss to complain?

When I was a kid I wasn't the best athlete in my grade but I wasn't the worst either. I can still remember when we'd pick sides for gym or recess and l, like all kids, would pray that I'd be picked sooner rather than later. The difference between then and now is that back then it was that uneasy feeling that put a fire in my belly to do better. I'd go home after school and practice harder and do better.   

Now, if everyone is a winner, why even practice?

The note from the elementary school in Michigan said that, “the real reward will be the enjoyment and good feeling of participation.” Really? Try telling that to the person who misses out on the promotion. What if management said that there would be a flat annual increase of 1.5% for every employee?   

Would there ever be any incentive to work harder? 

Teaching kids about competition as early as elementary school helps them develop a stronger sense of self and what they can and can’t do and what they want and don’t want.  Sure it might hurt their feelings but like my dad used to say,

"The harder the hammering the stronger the steel."

Note To My (Younger) Self

I've been reading a lot of articles lately that asked the question, "If you could, what would you tell your younger self about work or life?"  Maybe it's because graduation season is on top of us and these seeds of advice are perfect for sending a young person off to work or more schooling.  
I asked my Facebook friends the question, "If you could give advice to your 22 year old self, what would it be?" and I received a lot of thoughtful (and fun) responses. They are the types of things that I would share with my own kids.

Follow your heart.

Go back to school; be it college or a good trade school.

Have more confidence.

Don’t look back, only forward.

Quit worrying.

You are perfect and loved just the way you are.

You were right! 

Learn how to recognize "crazy" people and don't put credence into their actions. (This is not a reference to people with mental illness. I'm referring to people with questionable motives). Also, actions speak louder than words.

Look at a problem from all sides, not all people are good people and continue to learn.

Take risks and read "The Sociopath Next Door" by Martha Stout.

Fearlessly commit and follow your passion. Use your talents and skills in a way that contributes something of substance to the world. And enjoy the journey that takes you from one stage of life to the next. Everything will work out fine if you stay true to yourself and be of service to others through your passion, talents, and skills.

Do what you love, love who loves you, save money, take time for nature, be happy and just breathe.

Give your guardian angels a day off once in awhile. And start putting money away.

Look for the perfect "Bad" example and do the opposite!

Plan for your retirement.

Learn healthy!

Keep an open mind, and keep family and friends first in your life. And be healthy! 

Don't be afraid to leave your "comfort zone." It may not work out, but at least try.

Follow your heart! No matter what. True freedom means responding to your inner guidance. Live in love forgive easily and well, be grateful and see life as joyful!

Follow your heart, work harder, I think the answer is different for everyone and different for every season of your life. If you indulge when you're young, you may sacrifice your security when you're older, but if you take the straight and narrow path you sacrifice the freedoms of youth. Everyone needs to make their peace with their decision and know that there is no single answer to a fulfilled life. 

Trust your own judgment to do what is right. 
 
Go back to teaching and find what you truly love to teach. Do it for you, not anyone else.

Travel a lot!  

Love yourself and find your passion!

There will be a time in the not-too-distant future when you will look around & feel like everyone else has it figured out--jobs, houses, "the one", maybe even kids. You will feel old & you will feel like you will never figure those things out. You're way younger than you think. Things will fall in place. And they don't have it figured out, no matter how it looks. Oh, and you'll look way hotter at 42 than you do right now. 

Stop playing around and get serious about your future because one day, God willing, you will have to rely on your savings and investments in your later years 

I also received some fun responses that make good sense such as, "I wouldn't have married so and so", (don't rush into marriage or a deep relationship at such a young age), "Buy stock in such and such", (study the market and plan ahead) and "You were right Mom!" (of course she was!).

Looking at this list now, I see that it's good for someone at any age.  We're never too old to learn something new, right? What would you tell your 22 year old self?