Networking According to my Mother

When I was a little girl I was painfully shy. I don’t know how it happened but I wouldn’t surprised if some “thoughtful” adult in my life introduced me as, “This is Nancy. She is shy”. When I was about six years old, my mother decided to put an end to it and she gently eased me into meeting other children. I remember a day when we first moved to Eatontown, NJ after my Dad was transferred back from Germany to head the Army Central Intelligence Office out of Newark. We rented a farmhouse situated on 24 acres of fields and barns and fruit trees. It was a fun place for a kid with a love of the outdoors and an imagination.

One day the children from the neighborhood came over to see who the two new girls were. My sister ran outside and jumped right into the conversation and action. I looked out of my window at the fun and wished that I was as bold as she. My mother, noticing my hesitance took me by the hand and led me out to meet the neighbors. Oh it was hard and I can remember hiding behind her, clutching a stuffed lamb for dear life. Gradually, with her encouragement and casual conversation I stood in front of the new kids and smiled. They didn’t care that I was “shy” or quiet; they just wanted to play in our huge yard. We remained friends for years.

Looking back I can remember some of the lessons my mother taught me about meeting other people (networking) and I am so grateful. As the years went on and I had a family of my own, she continued her introductions and friendly matchmaking with my children. My mom is gone now but I think of her often and gratefully acknowledged the huge role she played in molding who I am today, I jotted down her networking tips. (She would have laughed at the word networking; she most likely would have called them common sense people skills.) They are great tips for the kid in all of us.

1. Be yourself. You are who you are and can’t ever make yourself someone else.
2. Be open to new people and new ideas. You might learn something.
3. Treat everyone the way that you want to be treated. Everyone has feelings just like you. Everyone should be respected.
4. Get out there even if you don’t feel like it. You’ll most likely enjoy yourself more than you expected.
5. Not everyone is as confident as they appear. Everyone has some sort of insecurity. Be open to people and make them feel comfortable.
6. If someone is not interested, so what? Move on and meet someone new.

I’ve carried these tips along with me through life. Her advice, recipes, voice, smile and mannerisms have made me who I am today and I am grateful.

Job Search During the Holidays

Just because the holiday season is underway doesn’t mean that it is a time to slack off on your job search; especially networking. The holidays bring in plenty of opportunities to meet with new and old friends and to let them know that you are actively searching for work. The key is to build relationships; keep your eyes open for opportunities but not let it consume you. Target family and friend gatherings, volunteer or professional group end of year celebrations, neighborhood parties... I think you get the idea.

Here are a couple of tips:
1. Be prepared with a short, casual elevator speech. Think of what you’ll say if people ask about you about yourself. Here is an example.

You: “Hi Joan, how have you been?”
Joan: “Great but so busy lately, how about you? How are things?”
You: “Good but like you trying to get everything done with the few weeks that we have left to the year. I’m also in the middle of a job search. My company outsourced my department a few weeks ago and on top of the holiday rush, I’m also trying to find a new job.”
Joan: “I'm sorry to hear that, What is it that you do again? I'm sure you told me but I forgot.”
You: “I’m technical writer and I really love it. I want to stay in the field and have started serious job hunting. If you happen to know anyone in your company or from your contacts, I sure would appreciate the help.”
Joan: “Let me think about who I might know. Let’s talk more after the holidays.”
You: “That would be great, thanks Joan. By the way, how is the college search going for Erin?”

2. Listen and be open to the person that you’re talking with. In other words, don’t make it all about you.

3. Be gracious with everyone.

4. Have fun, give yourself a break and enjoy yourself. Don’t be caught off guard but don’t feel as if you have to push yourself constantly.

Talking, listening, laughing and sharing are all parts of networking; all a part of life. It's important to be prepared for any networking situation but enjoy your friends and family first and savor the season.

Interview Question - How Would Your Friends Describe You?

In an interview, you will be asked any number of questions. Most of these will focus on your skills and previous responsibilities but there are other questions that an interviewer may use to discern your fit into the organization. One of those questions is, "How would your friends describe you?"

The question, “What would your friends say about you?” or "How would your friends describe you?" is usually used to find out how the interviewee would get along with his or her new team members, manager, and the organization as a whole. It’s used to see if there is a good fit between the organization and the new employee.  

From an interviewee’s standpoint, plan on this question being asked and prepare a response based on the job requirements and position. For example, if the job calls for good planning skills, respond with real life examples of how your friends were impressed with how you planned the events surrounding any reunions or weekend trips. Make sure to include a recap of the steps you took to make these memorable events.  

Asking friends for examples of how they see you is another step to take. Once you have these, think about ways that these attributes could be seen as pluses in an interview.

The key here is to prepare ahead of time by reviewing the job description and coming up with both work and non-work-related examples of where you excelled. Many times, we fail to see that the skills we use away from work can easily be aligned with what’s needed on the job.

This question is another example of preparing for the interview by reviewing the job posting or description and coming up with real life examples of how your skills, both technical and non-technical, align to these.

Interview Thank you Note

The other day I sent a thank you note to a friend who lives down the street thanking her for a nice dinner at her home. It was something I was taught to do at an early age and I still do it. I know that times have changed and thank you notes, if they are sent at all, are mainly done through text. Still, thanking a hiring manager after an interview is another step in the job search process. Many people leave it out but this small step not only shows that you care about the position, company and group that you may be working with but it also gives you a leg up on the competition who may not send a note.

So here is a free thank you note that you can email or send to a hiring manager after an interview. Try it, you may find that it improves your chances of being hired. It doesn't hurt, that's for sure.

Make sure that your thank you covers a few points; it contains the name of person with whom you interviewed (if you interviewed with a few people, they should each get a note and obviously you need to change the wording in each note). Also, make sure that your note includes something in it that will remind the interviewer of who you are. 
Are you ready? Here is a thank you note for you - obviously, you'll need to tailor it to fit your needs.

Salutation – Add Name, Company, Address, Date
Dear
Thank you for taking the time to talk with me today about the (name of) position. Our conversation reaffirmed my interest in working with you at (Company name) and I was eager to learn about the products, services and resources that you offer.
 
I hope that I was able to communicate to you that my past experience in (specific area) would be beneficial in solving your issues with (some situation or job need that was discussed). One of my passions is to improve business processes through (list several of your strengths as they match the open position). I would very much like to use these skills to help (Company name) fulfill its mission of helping clients, “build and sustain a successful business.”
If you have any further questions, I would be happy to talk with you again. Feel free to call me at (number). I am more than ready to move into this role; I am a quick learner and eager to get started. Thank you once again.
 

Sincerely,

Keeping Your Cool

I've often been asked how to handle a case of nervousness before an interview. I, along with a few other experts offer some simple solutions to calm yourself before an interview or in other stressful situations. 

 

https://www.girlandthe.com/blog/2018/4/23/how-to-keep-your-cool-during-a-job-interview

The Johari Window

 In a few weeks I will be giving a presentation about The Johari Window. As I continue my research on the subject, I am reminded about how it is not only useful in your day to day business interactions with your clients, staff or team, it is also helpful as you prepare for a job search. 

The Johari Window and Your Job Search

 

I’ve always been interested in human behavior and inserted various tools such as Myers Briggs or DiSC into my training programs. They provided a new way of looking at things and were thought provoking take on something. That’s why I find the Johari Window noteworthy.

The Johari Window was developed in the 1950s by Joseph Ingham and Harry Luft (Johari; interesting take on their names) to increase our understanding of the relationships and behaviors we have with ourselves and with others. The Johari Window looks like this.

 

I Know Open You Know Information about you that both you and others know.	I Don’t Know Blind Spot You Know Information about you that you don’t know but others know.
I know Hidden You Don’t Know Information about you that you know but others don’t know.	I Don’t Know Unknown You Don’t Know Information about you that neither you nor others know.

 

Open- This is the information that both of you know about you. It can be basic, such as your name, job title, location but you can also share feelings, motives and behaviors with others. Some examples may include your kindness, your negotiating skills, your ability to write interesting narrative. Some other examples include characteristics that you know about yourself as does others such as The more you share with others and the more self-aware you are and the more “open” this particular window is.

Blind – This is behavior that you don’t know about yourself that others do know. For example, perhaps you jingle the change in your pocket or constantly clear your throat when you are nervous. If you communicate with others you may find out this information. You want to be aware of these habits and when that happens, you bring them over to the “Open” area.

Hidden- There are certain bits and pieces of our behaviors and personality that we don’t share with people. It may be because we don’t know someone well enough or are uncomfortable sharing. An example of this can be as simple of not telling someone that you are afraid of enclosed spaces or that you were up all night worrying about an interview response. Once you share that information it again moves to the “Open” area.

Unknown – This area represents the unspecified, undetermined behaviors about yourself that neither you nor someone else may know. You may have just met someone and have not yet shared any information or behaviors. This area reminds me of starting an icebreaker exercise at the beginning of a training program and being paired up with a complete stranger. It’s a clean slate; you can share as much or as little as you care to with this person. Once this happens, the information moves to the “Open” area.

Using the Johari Window for Your Job Search

The Johari Window can also be used in the job search. Let’s look at the quadrants in relationship to an interview. Other than a resume or perhaps a referral or connection, you and the interviewer are in the Unknown territory. Obviously you want to share your skills and experience with the interviewer and expand the Open area.

Open - The more you share the more this window expands. Here is where you share your experiences, strengths, weaknesses, goals and career aspirations. This is where you are aware of your personal interviewing strengths and how to use them.

Blind Spot – Before the interview ask for feedback. Get a friend or hire a coach to practice interviewing with you and then get their candid feedback on what you did well and where you need practice. Did you fidget, did you make direct eye contact, was your handshake firm, were your responses direct and did they highlight your accomplishments? Once you get feedback, work on it.

Hidden - There are some things to keep hidden and then there are others that might want to come out. For example, the fact that when you are nervous you ramble doesn’t need to be shared. You could share that you felt exhilarated when a client bought into your product or service. It’s up to you; share this quadrant when you feel it is important to the interview.

Unknown: The more you share during the interview the more this quadrant shrinks and the Open area grows.

The key to the Johari Window is to enlarge the Open quadrant by sharing information about yourself when appropriate.