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| Me as a young "Jr. Trainer". |
Have you ever noticed how
certain people come to mind at unexpected moments? Maybe it is when you have
accomplished something, reached a milestone, or handled a situation in a way
that feels distinctly like you. Suddenly, someone from your school days or
early in your career surfaces in your thoughts, as if they are quietly behind
the scenes of your success.
I
have had a few of these people in my own life and career, individuals who,
often without knowing it, influenced how I developed my own style at work and
in life. They were not necessarily formal mentors or supervisors. Sometimes
they were teachers, early colleagues, or simply people I admired from afar.
What they shared, in different ways, were qualities that left a lasting
impression, confidence, kindness, curiosity, integrity, or a steady belief in
me before I fully believed in myself.
Early
in my career at Chubb Insurance, I was a Junior Training Associate, back when
we still called it “Training” rather than Learning and Development. That’s
where I worked with a colleague named Mark. Looking back now, he probably was
not that much older than me, but at 23 I thought he was ancient.
Mark
was an excellent instructor. He was funny, engaging, and, most importantly, he
knew how to get his points across. Watching him in the classroom, I did not
just see a good trainer, I saw the kind of professional I wanted to become. I
admired his style and, in many ways, wanted to be just like him.
One
day my manager assigned me to a sales training program, the same one Mark
delivered, with the goal of cross training me. My first task was simply to
observe him. I sat quietly in the back of the room, taking copious notes, not
just on the content but on how he moved, how he handled questions, how he read
the room, and how he kept people engaged.
A
few days later, I was asked to present parts of that same program to Mark alone
so he could give me feedback. I remember feeling nervous. This was my chance to
step into a role I admired, guided by someone I deeply respected.
To
make a long story short, I memorized the program and delivered it almost
exactly as Mark had. I used his jokes, his mannerisms, even many of his
questions. In effect, I became a mini Mark. I remember feeling proud of myself,
after all, I had replicated what I thought was excellent training.
Afterward,
Mark took me aside to give me feedback. As you can imagine, his response was
both kind and insightful. He told me, gently but clearly, that while I had done
a good job, I could not simply be a copy of him. If I wanted to be effective, I
needed to make the program my own.
He
encouraged me to develop my own opening, use my own questions, and lean into my
own style and way of persuading an audience. You have to make it relatable to
yourself, he said, before you can make it relatable to others. After doing
that, we’d try it again.
That
day opened my eyes to the power of going off script, of creating and delivering
training that felt authentic, human, and relatable rather than simply
rehearsed. It changed the way I approached my work from that point forward.
Over
the years, I went on to design and deliver a multitude of programs and work
with hundreds of people. I’ve been told that my style feels non threatening,
accessible, and easy to connect with, feedback that has always meant a great
deal to me. But what mattered most was this. Participants did not just enjoy
the training, they actually used what they learned and succeeded with it. For
me, that has always been the most meaningful level of training evaluation.
In
many ways, that early lesson from Mark shaped not just how I trained others,
but how I showed up as a professional. My hope is that I have been able to do
the same for others along the way.
One
of the themes in Caitlin’s Star is remembering the people who have made a
difference in our lives. Mark is one of those people for me, not someone I
remember only in the past, but someone whose influence is very much alive
today. We still occasionally keep in touch, and his impact continues to show up
in how I work, how I teach, and how I treat others.