Growing a Thicker Skin

I once had a manager who told me to “grow a thicker skin.” It happened when I was a Human Resources Consultant responsible for a couple of IT teams. I’ll admit, I wasn’t entirely comfortable in that role. I was in my element as a Learning and Development Manager, but as they used to say, I had to wear two hats.

Among many qualities, an HR professional needs to have strong communication and interpersonal skills, be socially responsible, possess a knack for business strategy and performance management, and stay calm in uncomfortable situations. I thrived in those areas. However, being pretty high on the empathy scale, I struggled more with the tougher sides of HR—playing politics, reprimanding poor behavior, or firing people. Give me a team that was infighting, though, and I’d design a training program that had everyone singing “Kum Ba Yah” by the end of the day.

My manager’s comment about having “thick skin” stuck with me for years—and apparently, I’m still thinking about it as I write this. It came back to mind recently after reading some comments about my newest book, Caitlin’s Star. Some artists and creative designers in the children’s book groups I belong to have harshly criticized the artwork. I’ll admit to using AI to create my characters, but I’ve modified them so much that they barely resemble the originals. One comment—“Same generic-looking slop as everything else”—really hurt. That one stung enough to wake me up several times last night.

When I looked up the authors of these fine comments, I saw that they’re graphic designers and artists. I understand that, like many careers, theirs is being challenged by the rise of AI.

My advice to authors is this: you do you  (I even have a tee shirt that says this). And my advice to anyone considering a career in HR—or any field—is to read the job descriptions carefully. Ask yourself if you have the temperament and skill set to truly thrive in that environment. 

Whether you’re managing teams or publishing a book, the challenge is the same: stay true to yourself — and keep growing, skin and all. 

Have you ever had to grow a thicker skin in your own career or creative work?