The Story Behind Caitlin’s Star

I wrote Caitlin’s Star thirty-six years ago. My four-year-old daughter, Caitlin, had just lost her paternal grandmother and was feeling so many emotions—sadness, confusion, and even fear.

At the time, we were driving to visit my parents, who lived about an hour away at the New Jersey shore. We were on busy Route 287 when Caitlin asked from the back seat what had happened to her grandmother, “Grandmother Pearl.” I didn’t have an easy answer, so I began to tell her a story—a story that came straight from my heart as I drove down the highway.

Somewhere between the exits, Caitlin’s Star was born. I remember getting so caught up in the story that I missed our exit ramp entirely!

After I finished telling it, Caitlin looked up and said, “Tell it again, Mommy.” And I did—over and over, all the way to my parents’ house. That night, after she went to bed, I wrote the story down on a yellow legal pad so I wouldn’t forget it.

In the years that followed, our family experienced other losses. Whenever we talked about those loved ones, Caitlin and I would remember what they liked to do and what made them happy. Just as Grandmother Pearl’s heavenly job was to polish the stars, we would imagine what our other loved ones’ jobs might be.

In time, our family grew, I remarried and had a son, who also joined in the tradition. Together, we’d think of “heavenly jobs” for the people and pets we loved—always finding comfort and a bit of joy in imagining how they might still be shining bright above us.

As the years went on, I realized this simple story had become a source of healing and connection for our whole family. I decided to expand it—adding sections that invite families to personalize their own copies. I wrote an Author’s Note to help parents use the story in ways that open conversations about love and loss, and I included journal pages where children can write or draw memories of their loved ones.

Over the years, Caitlin’s Star has remained part of our family’s way of healing—reminding us that love never disappears; it simply shines in new places.