A friend of
over 53 years and I “broke up”. It was a hard thing to understand and needless
to say, these past few weeks, since we had words, I’ve felt as if I am in
mourning. I know that our parting is for the best as our relationship had
become toxic and one sided. I hung in there because I felt as if I had to and
that’s no way to feel in a friendship.
So how do you
know if it is time to “break up” with a good friend. There are signs.
1.
When
your friend calls, you no longer feel like speaking to him or her.
2.
When
you do speak, you feel wrung out and exhausted afterwards.
3.
Your
conversations are strictly one-sided. There is no equity.
4.
When
you need help, you don’t get any.
5.
Your
friend tries to break your spirit with his/her words and or actions. Their
words may be parental, spiteful and ugly.
6.
You
no longer “like” who this person is and inwardly cringe at many of his or her
comments, actions or behaviors.
My friend and I
parted ways after she lied to me and then said some very ugly words about me, my
family and my life. No one has ever spoken to me as she did, and I doubt very
much if I can find forgiveness in my heart after that eruption.
If you feel
uncomfortable with a friendship and feel that you need some time away or a
break, there are some things you can do.
1.
Be
honest. Explain how you feel. Stay away from words like, “You always…” Instead,
say, “I feel”.
2.
Be
factual. If you have real life examples of something provide them.
3.
Be straightforward,
state what you want. (a break, a change in direction)
No one wants to
lose a friend, especially one with whom you’ve shared half a lifetime. There
are times though, when we need to move on and sometimes that means a breakup.
And like the song says, breaking up is hard to do.