Today in the hospital I met an older woman named Jean who
came from Plainfield, NJ. She has diabetes, got shaky and fell in the parking lot
as she was going to her friend’s funeral this morning. She split her lip and
scratched up her hands. The hospital put
her on a gurney outside my mother in law’s room in the emergency department and there
she sat all day long.
Jean was widowed two years ago after 54 years of marriage. She also lost a son eight years ago. Talking
about her husband and son brings her to tears.
While she was there she called her other three sons and none
of them answered. She did speak to a
daughter in law. For the twelve hours
that Jean was on that gurney in the emergency department and in the hallway, not one of her sons
came to see how she was. They are all
local too.
Every time I came out of my mother in law’s room I talked to
Jean. She told me that she was going to catch the bus home and hoped that she’d
be discharged in time to catch one. I said that I didn’t think that the
hospital would let her and that most likely a friend or one of her sons would
need to get her. She said that her sons all worked shift work and wouldn’t be
able to do that. Funny…we were in that
hospital for a part of all three shifts and did any of her sons come by and
check on her? No. Not one. Not ever.
Jean is one of those senior citizens who just wanted someone
to talk to and to bring her some water and a warm, damp towel to wipe the
blood off her split lip. I don’t know the story behind Jean’s sons but I do
know that I hurt for her because they weren’t there for her today. I was
actually sad when we left her to move my mother in law into her hospital room. Jean
was going to be admitted too. I hope her
boys come by tomorrow.
8 comments:
It's a story I have seen one too many times. I cannot comprehend why these callous sons ignored their mother. Parents sacrifice for their children, changed their diapers, fed them , took care when they were rick and yet the lack of gratitude is amazing . I would do anything to have my mother back!
Thanks for responding - I think that's what bothered me the most and what made me sit down and write this post at 11:30 pm. I miss my mom and would give anything to get her back, too.
That is such a sad story, Nancy. It is happening so much in America anymore. The bond within families is eroding and it is a shame that it is happening in this country. It was so nice of you to talk to her. I'm sure you made her feel better. There should be more people like you in the world. It would make it a better place. GOD BLESS YOU!!!
Thanks so much Larry. It is sad what is happening with some families. Even though my mother in law has Alzheimer Disease and didn't know what was going on around her yesterday, every time she opened her eyes she was soothed and cared for by us. Thanks for responding too!
This is all too common and sad. You have to wonder what led to this type of relationship between Jean and her children. One thought would be that the children got older, became busy with their own children, careers and the tasks of day-to-day life that take up so much of our time. I refer to it as the Cats and the Cradle syndrome in reverse. The other as I play devil's advocate is the relationship was never a loving one and the kids could not wait to get on with their lives. The only people who really know the answer are Jean & her kids. Do we owe our parents better regardless of the situation? Possibly.....Probably..... Unfortunately sometimes those questions are not answered until its too late. You did a good thing Nancy. You extended compassion for someone you did not know. Too many people would have ignored Jean. With any luck her sons are checking in on her right now.....
Thanks Anonymous - I hope Jean's children came by today too. I was humming that song this morning too. This kind of situation is unfortunate for everyone all around.
Wow....I can't imagine. So wish I could hold my moms hand one more time!
Hey Sherry -I know what you mean. I know that if my mom were here,she would have been out in the hallway holding Jean's hand too. I think I learned from the best. You did too!
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