Drowning My Memories

I threw away a lot of memories today. Hurricane Sandy drowned them in filthy water and putrid sand and mud. It hurt when I tossed the guest books from the funeral homes that took care of my grandparents and parents.  Inside one of them was a letter that I wrote to my dad toward the end of his life.  My handwriting is still visible on the slippery paper but I'm afraid that if I move the paper the words will slide off.  In this same soggy mess I found a perfect dollar bill where my dad had written, “I Love You” to my mom. It made me cry.

I had to toss my parent’s record albums.  When we cleaned out their home four years ago we saved the Frank Sinatra Christmas album, a couple of German marching songs along with the other records that reminded us of our childhood.  Today I stuffed them in a black contractor bag because they were covered with mold spores. I had a quick thought that I might save them if I threw them in the sink with some dish soap but no, I’d just be wasting my time and I had to keep moving.

Most of the things that Sandy stole were pieces of my childhood.  Of course I have my memories but as I get older, the memories will begin to fade and I might need something to touch, read or gaze at. I dumped a bunch of old pictures too.  They were of relatives from a century ago.  Sandy washed their names away so I tossed them in the black bags too; so long strangers.

I wound up keeping a couple of sweaters that belonged to my dad and mom along with a bag of my mom- mom’s linens.  I also picked up a sampler that my mom worked on in elementary school. I can’t get all of the mold spots out of it but at least I saved it.

As I pitched the pieces of my childhood I had a thought.  Perhaps my parents had Sandy destroy all that stuff because they wanted me to get rid of it and to save some of my own memories. Maybe, but when that happens I’ll be sure to place them on the highest shelf.